Hurt, disappointment, frustration are the emotions that now threaten to engulf and rob me of my entire sanity.... I tried to clear my mind, close my eyes and sleep but i couldn't. I asked myself am i dreaming? I hope all these are not true.. But unfortunately, it is.. It did happened and i am just totally stunned.
Why? Why do it when you already know its wrong? What's wrong with you? You know how much it hurts and upsets me?
And him, i still can't believe it he actually did that... The facade that he had shown me over these years has now faded in an instant, unveiling a totally horrible and disgusting side.
Come to think of it, why am i so concerned for what? Just because i am close to you? So what? Still who am i to you to feel such anguish and pain? Should i just try to erase the whole thing and treat it like nothing happened? Or should i just not bother in whatever you do?
I hate it. I hate getting hurt time and time again.
What have i done in my previous life to reap this got damn negativity?
Why am i always getting hurt when everything around seems to go well and fine? Why? Why is fate so fond of bringing me to the top of mountain and throwing me down deep into the abyss from there?
It seems to me i can't love or adore a person cos in the end, that very person will be the one to hurt me very deeply. Not once has this happened...
I am sorry. Okay, really sorry cos i can't be there with you whenever you needed support. I can't give you the encouragement or support that you had wanted from me. And because of that, you turned to someone else of the wrong choice and consequently made that mistake. If i had been more sensitive and thoughtful, would all these have happened?
No use lamenting now.. What's the point? What's done can't be undone... Who to blame? Me, myself...
Tsang Yew, i am really tired.. i really had enough of all these.. How i wish i could also join you australia in pursuit of Medicine... I hate this place already.... It has brought me more painful memories than happiness.. If I could, i want to leave this place forever, leaving behind and shutting away those who had hurt me...
To whoever it concerns: whatever you said to me, i will keep to my promise and not tell anyone. If you don't believe me, fine.. I don't wish to argue anymore..