i guess this has more of became like a monthly affair for me.. just published an old draft (see e post b4 tty's).. had actually wanted to continue from there on, but then i changed my mind..

finding myself increasingly drawing away from social activity and interaction.. pretty much a contrast to my sec school days.. i don't know.. but it seems like i may just be slowly screwing up my life.. or maybe it's just that i'm going through something which i dun enjoy.. uni life has really fallen short of anything tt i had perhaps expected.. and this only served to pop up e question of wat education is all about in its true fundamental sense..

there has always been a conflict of e unconscious idealistic me and e pragmatic, realistic aspect of my being.. and i do not really noe wat to make of it.. seeing e world as a huge cauldron of irony.. and sometimes just feeling life is a drag..

so wat would probably maslow say of my situation? an unfulfilled need for love and belongingness i guess.. haha.. irony irony.. self diagnosis of my personal problems..

have been a long time since i had a heart-to-heart talk with anyone..

2 more papers left to clear and i've not studied for them yet.. and yet i do not now feel e anxiety of failing to finish studying in time.. which most probably would be e case.. negative energies can result in a pretty vicious cycle.. or in OB and psychology terms, e cycle of low self-efficacy..

OB has been e most enjoyable module so far.. i guess partly because enjoyment in an activity does have a positive co-relation to e accomplishment level in tt activity.. 3 A+ grades for e 2 reports and 1 personal assignment has helped to put me in a good position to get a good grade for e subject.. that is, if i didn't screw up my paper.. was surprised to hear from an acquaintance that he had actually left 40 marks of stuff blank.. and because he had spent too much time on e front questions.. and ya.. he had GPA 4.72 for last sem.. realised tt there were actually not many ppl who had a lower GPA than me.. and they are actually countable..

i guess there are many more things tt i had wanted to type about, but i guess they might just freak ppl out..

there are some things tt i yearn for and yet i do not say them.. because i noe tt if i did, e feeling will be different..